Posted by mattusmaximus on March 31, 2010
In honor of the recent news of the Large Hadron Collider’s successful run-up to 7.0 TeV collisions and the upcoming Easter weekend, I figure that I’d pass along a humorous little bit that I just stumbled upon. Enjoy!
Hint: the joke is that laymen often state that the LHC is searching for the Higg’s Boson, a.k.a. the “God Particle” 😉
Happy scientists exchanged water for wine
‘It’s not quite the God particle we’ve been looking for, ’said Professor Mann, head of the Atlas Project at CERN, ‘but it’s a miracle nonetheless.’
The particle arose from a collision between a J and an M particle in a way which no one thought possible, and the bright light created sucked in three K particles from the East. Although it only existed for a fraction of a second, scientists are adamant that the Son of God particle will re-appear by Sunday.
‘Make no mistake there’ll be lots written about this and it will become the standard textbook for how we do things in future,’ said Professor Mann. ‘I’ve no doubt it will lead to peace, harmony and wisdom among all men with sandals, beards and tank-tops.’
Excitement at the news was heightened when it was revealed that, on the same day, a technician in the CERN canteen opened a marmite sandwich to discover a perfect image of esteemed physicist Professor Peter Higgs.
Posted in humor | Tagged: 2012, apocalypse, armaggedon, atom smasher, Big Bang, black hole, CERN, Christ, conspiracy, cosmic rays, cyclotron, doomsday, Easter, end of the world, exotic matter, FermiLab, God, God particle, Higgs boson, humor, Jesus, Large Hadron Collider, LHC, particle accelerator, particle physics, physics, pseudoscience, Son of God, strangelet, synchrotron, Tevatron | 2 Comments »
Posted by mattusmaximus on March 30, 2010
As a quick follow up to my recent post about the Large Hadron Collider, there is a new development: the LHC has now actually collided counter-rotating proton beams in collisions reaching the 7.0 TeV energy level (3.5 TeV per beam). As the story below points out, this is the highest level ever recorded for such collisions, and – as you know upon waking up this morning – the planet has survived and no Earth devouring black holes were created in the process. Of course, if you knew anything about the physics involved, you know that such doomsday scenarios are the purest lunacy (here’s 3 reasons why the LHC cannot destroy the planet)…
Geneva atom smasher sets collision record
The world’s largest atom smasher conducted its first experiments at conditions nearing those after the Big Bang, breaking its own record for high-energy collisions with proton beams crashing into each other Tuesday at three times more force than ever before.
I wonder how the conspiracy mongering doomsayers will react to this news? I’ll be on pins and needles 🙂
Posted in doomsday, physics denial/woo | Tagged: 2012, apocalypse, armaggedon, atom smasher, Big Bang, black hole, CERN, conspiracy, cosmic rays, cyclotron, doomsday, end of the world, exotic matter, FermiLab, Large Hadron Collider, LHC, particle accelerator, particle physics, physics, pseudoscience, strangelet, synchrotron, Tevatron | 3 Comments »
Posted by mattusmaximus on March 20, 2010
**Addendum (3/22/2010): Shortly after I wrote the post below, it came to my attention that the proton-proton beams in the LHC haven’t yet actually collided at the 3.5 TeV level yet, but I think that point is moot. It’s also true that the LHC has already conducted proton-proton collisions at greater than TeV levels (up to about 2.36 TeV, it seems)…
And despite this fact, we’re all still here. Of course, I expect the scare mongers to come back with something like “But we don’t know that the planet won’t be destroyed at the next energy level!” By that same token, we don’t know that the Earth won’t be destroyed if we don’t turn the damn thing on, right?
Arguments from ignorance can be used in such silly ways. ‘Nuff said.
The Large Hadron Collider (LHC) is the largest, most complicated piece of machinery ever created by humanity. This humongous particle accelerator also just recently broke, once again, the world record for achieving the highest-energy artificial particle collisions ever in history. Of course, there are some conspiracy-minded scare mongers out there who maintain that the LHC is going to somehow destroy the Earth, presumably because – despite multiple reasons to the contrary – there will be some unknown, magical mechanism by which these artificially-achieved energy levels will kill us all. In short, with no evidence or coherent theory of physics behind their claims, they’re making an argument from ignorance & saying this…
I think not – it didn’t happen in May 2008, and it won’t happen now. As I said, the LHC recently broke that supposedly world-ending energy barrier once again, and we’re all still here. The news is outlined in this Yahoo News story…
Operators of the world’s largest atom smasher on Friday ramped up their massive machine to three times the energy ever previously achieved, in the run-up to experiments probing the secrets of the universe.
The European Organization for Nuclear Research, or CERN, said beams of protons circulated at 3.5 trillion electron volts in both directions around the 27-kilometer (17-mile) tunnel housing the Large Hadron Collider under the Swiss-French border at Geneva.
The next major development is expected in a few days when CERN starts colliding the beams in a new round of research to examine the tiniest particles and forces within the atom in hopes of finding out more about how matter is made up.
The collider in December had already eclipsed the record of the next most powerful machine, the Tevatron at Fermilab outside Chicago, which has been running just shy of a trillion electron volts, or TeV.
The extra energy in Geneva is expected to reveal even more about the unanswered questions of particle physics , such as the existence of dark energy and matter. Scientists hope also to approach on a tiny scale what happened in the first split seconds after the Big Bang, which they theorize was the creation of the universe some 14 billion years ago.
CERN has reported a series of successes since the collider was restarted last year after 14 months of repairs and improvements following a spectacular failure when scientists initially tried to get the machine going.
CERN improved the machine during a 2 1/2-month winter shutdown to be able to operate at the higher energy .
“Getting the beams to 3.5 TeV is testimony to the soundness of the LHC’s overall design, and the improvements we’ve made since the breakdown in September 2008,” said Steve Myers, CERN’s director for accelerators and technology.
It’ll be interesting to see how the scare mongering pseudoscientists rationalize away this one, but I’m sure they’ll find some way to do it.
Posted in doomsday, physics denial/woo | Tagged: 2012, apocalypse, armaggedon, atom smasher, black hole, CERN, conspiracy, cosmic rays, cyclotron, DC, doomsday, Dragon Con, Dragon*Con, end of the world, exotic matter, FermiLab, Large Hadron Collider, LHC, particle accelerator, particle physics, physics, pseudoscience, strangelet, synchrotron, Tevatron | 10 Comments »
Posted by mattusmaximus on November 21, 2009
Hooray! 😀 The Large Hadron Collider (LHC) in Europe has switched back on after being offline for a year…
Europe: Proton beams circulate in Big Bang machine
GENEVA – Scientists switched on the world’s largest atom smasher Friday night for the first time since the $10 billion machine suffered a spectacular failure more than a year ago.
It took a year of repairs before beams of protons circulated late Friday in the Large Hadron Collider for the first time since it was heavily damaged by a simple electrical fault.
Circulation of the beams was a significant leap forward. The European Organization for Nuclear Research has taken the restart of the collider step by step to avoid further setbacks as it moves toward new scientific experiments — probably starting in January — regarding the makeup of matter and the universe.
And, as I’ve blogged about before, where there is science being done by physicists via particle accelerators like the LHC, there are also pseudoscientific nuts who maintain that it’s going to destroy the Earth. Balderdash! Here are 3 good reasons why the LHC experiments are no danger to our planet.
I should also point out one more piece of good news regarding the re-starting of the LHC: despite all of the doomsday scenarios by the conspiracy-mongering pseudoscientists – the Earth survived 😉
Posted in doomsday, physics denial/woo | Tagged: 2012, apocalypse, armaggedon, atom smasher, black hole, CERN, conspiracy, cosmic rays, cyclotron, DC, doomsday, Dragon Con, Dragon*Con, end of the world, exotic matter, FermiLab, Large Hadron Collider, LHC, particle accelerator, particle physics, physics, pseudoscience, strangelet, synchrotron, Tevatron | 1 Comment »
Posted by mattusmaximus on September 16, 2009
One of the things I did at Dragon*Con a couple of weeks ago was to give a talk on the physics of the Large Hadron Collider. The last part of the talk dealt specifically with the claims that the LHC will destroy the Earth. My response to this nonsense claim:
No, really, don’t panic… the Large Hadron Collider is NOT going to destroy the Earth. Yes, I know what the cranks have said, and I know that words such as “black hole“, “strangelet” and “exotic matter” get thrown around to make them sound like they know physics from their buttholes… but really, it’s going to be fine. Here’s why:
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in physics denial/woo | Tagged: apocalypse, armaggedon, atom smasher, black hole, CERN, cosmic rays, cyclotron, DC, Dragon Con, Dragon*Con, end of the world, exotic matter, FermiLab, Large Hadron Collider, LHC, particle accelerator, particle physics, physics, pseudoscience, strangelet, synchrotron, Tevatron | 7 Comments »